Dear "Dad"

Dear "Dad" Here it is 1am and I cant sleep. There are some thing Im wondering. Could you explain to me how it's fair that you can destroy my childhood, my teenage years, and most of my adulthood? You've caused me many nights of no sleep due to nightmares, countless neurotic quirks(had to sleep with my bedroom door locked til my mid 20s), countless trips to a therapist, and the meds I'm on so I don't lose my fucking mind. All due to your heinous actions towards me for 12 years. 12 fucking years that were supposed to be the best years of my life are tainted. You made me feel disgusting and full of shame. I hated myself because of you. Instead of protecting me, you abused me. Yet to this day you sit living your white picket fence life and I sit living wondering what's wrong with me and why I was dealt these cards. I fucking hate you. I hope that your death is slow and as painful as the years you made me lose.